Revision.

I tried to be productive today by revising a certain text from Bob Ong’s Bakit Baliktad ang Utak ng mga Pilipino? This text was shown  to us by our teacher and I thought I might try revising the text.

ORIGINAL:

Marjie,

I am not surprise or wander why Dennis leave you

Why?

What reason you can think about but you’re very fat body.  I thought before that Dennis only use me to his toy but sooner or later I’m realize that he really can’t not beared or stomached to be with you anymore because at first, Dennis say he could not stand you’re habit of making pakialam all his walks [lakad] and always calling to their house what he go home or this or that and then he say he say he get ashame to met iether in school or in his family and then asking you to exercise you’re very very, very fat body but you hate it thoughth you’re the most preetiest girls he knows about what do you think you are “Beautiful Girl” of Jose Marie Chan even you are beautiful face to your think) you do not have the right to called me whatsoever or else different name one time or the other for the real purposed to insults my personality because I’m never call you names iether in the front of Dennis or in the backs of Dennis, but if you start already to calling me different name, I don’t have any other choice but to call you other different name to like you are a PIG, OBESSED, OVERWIGHT, AND UGLY SHAPE girl.  Shame to you’re body that is to a BUDING. You can’t not blame Dennis for exchanging you to me because I am the more sexier than you when you look to us in the  mirror.  I’m repeat again that you are like Ike Lozada when she is a girl.

FROM:  THE SEXIEST GIRL OF D.M.

P.S.  You say that I’m the bad breathe but who is Dennis want to kissed.  Me or you?  You or me?  And the final is me.

MY ATTEMPT AT REVISION:

Marjie,

I am not surprised nor do I wonder why Dennis left you.

Why? The reason is because you have a very fat body. At first I thought that Dennis was only going to use me as his toy but I realised that he cannot bear or stomach being with you anymore. He says that he cannot stand your habit of meddling with his outings, calling to his house all the time and other things and that he is ashamed to meet you in school or with his family. He kept on asking you to exercise because you have a fat body but you would hate it when he says that (even though he thinks that you are the prettiest girl he knows). You think that you are the “Beautiful Girl” of Jose Mari Chan and you think you have a beautiful face but you do not have the right to call me insulting names because I never call you other names either in front or behind Dennis’ back, but if you would start to call me by a different name, I have no choice but to call you by another name because you are an obsessed, overweight pig and you are a girl with an ugly shape.  You cannot blame Dennis for choosing me over you because I am sexier than you, even if we look in the mirror. You are like the female version of Ike Lozada.

From: The sexiest girl of D.M.

P.S. You would say that I have a bad breath, but who is the girl that Dennis wanted to kiss, is it me or you? The answer would be me.

 

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