I do like writing. It’s the best way to make me calm down from certain things, like negative stress and this stupid flu. Sometimes I wonder why I’ve become so hateful towards certain people and so full of all of these negative emotions despite my relatively all right demeanour. Perhaps I actually want to do something about it but fear takes over that will.
I do fear a lot of things and most of them involve failing. I’d admit that I did once stare at that green circle on Facebook whilst contemplating on whether or not to ask that person if we can talk. I wanted to let go of grudges I’ve had against people. It’s really bad to hold grudges, especially for so long. Problem is, I can’t seem to find the courage to press the enter button and all of the energy for that is channelled in the delete/backspace/close button.
I do apologise for the sudden outburst but I think, it’s the first step to reduce negative stress from academics and whatnot.
I do not see the necessity to keep on harbouring ire towards someone for about two years and on. I guess when I look back at that event, it was a childish way to react but probably understandable. I’d be getting an “I-told-you-so” from another friend (may the lords of all the universes not allow him to see this post) but I do recognise now the importance of discussing something properly.
It’s really time to let go of it, entirely.